


The Best Archer Is the One that's Still Sober

by completelyhopeless



Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drinking, Friendship, Gen, Humor, two circus birds universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 23:31:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3429503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick and Clint almost introduce Natasha to their version of a drinking game. They would have, that was, if they weren't both too drunk before they even started to play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Archer Is the One that's Still Sober

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shanachie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanachie/gifts).



> A while ago (longer than I want to admit ago) Shanachie gave me a prompt for Clint & Dick and their version of drinking games. It was always in the back of my mind for Natasha to join them.
> 
> I kept putting it off, I suppose because I thought I needed to know how Natasha got recruited to S.H.I.E.L.D. and became friends with Clint, but today I was trying to update Queen & Hawkheart and realized I couldn't get Clint's voice, and since I have been meaning to try and sort out the mess I have for the last part of Circus Birds that I had to put aside because I was sick and ready to delete the whole universe... Well, I decided to try some short pieces to get my Clint voice back, and since Dick has been stealing all my inspiration anyway... Why not try it in a short Circus Bird universe piece?
> 
> Flawed logic, but it led to fic, probably bad fic, but there it is.

* * *

“We've had bad ideas before,” Dick said looking at his friend in complete seriousness which of course just made Clint want to start laughing, “but this has to be the worst of them, and you know it.”

Natasha gave them both a look, watching without comment. Dick didn't seem to notice, but Clint thought he should since he was the one currently insulting her. “This is not the worst. Come on, there have been other worse ones. Crashing Tony Stark's party?”

“No one even believes we were there.”

“Alright—shooting Batman in the ass.”

“Accident.”

“Right. Um... So...”

“It doesn't get much worse than your latest brainchild,” Dick said. “I'm sorry to use a cultural stereotype, but she's Russian. She is going to drink us both under the table and then some. And you want to see which of the three of us is a better archer drunk? This is a bad plan.”

“I don't remember saying that I wanted to see who was the better archer. We know who that is. It's me. It's always going to be me. Why would I say that?”

“Because you started becoming intoxicated three drinks ago,” Natasha said, and Dick nodded in agreement. Clint grumbled to himself. Why was it his best friends always seemed to side against him? He needed to get Babs involved in all this so she could side against Dick. Then again, she might side with Natasha. That couldn't work. No.

“How are you still sober, then?” Clint asked, looking over at Dick suspiciously.

“Did I ever mention the whole alcohol resistance training I did with Batman? I mean, judging from the kids I was going to school with, underage drinking was a problem and,” Dick stopped to burp, “and he was worried about that and a certain sidekick being exposed to stuff and... What? I am circus born and bred. Of course I'd have a higher tolerance than you.”

“That's an ugly stereotype.”

“And Natasha's a pretty one?”

“Yes, but not the point. Dick, you take it very personally when people insult the circus.”

“I know. I do. I must be feeling something to have tried to make a joke of it myself,” Dick said with mock severity. “Natasha, if we start... giggling, please put us out of our misery.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Why would I do that?”

Dick grinned at her, using his famous Grayson charm. “Because you like us. And kind of owe us because we saved your life once. And because you'll lose all respect for Clint if you hear him giggle.”

“You are such a dick.”

The acrobat laughed. “Want to go see who the better archer is now?”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Boys.”

“No contest,” Clint said, leaning against the wall as his head spun.

“Yep. Natasha wins.”

“Hey!”


End file.
